To tell you the truth, I have found myself in a block (the creative/writer’s/doing-anything-productive-at-all kind) for the majority of my summer holiday, so as I sat down at my computer, my fingers itching to type with no topic in mind, I thought of what I am passionate about. Aside from pinot grigio, pretentious art exhibitions and music none of my friends like, all I could think of was my appreciation for avocado. As a former anorexic turned foodie, it’s easy for me to become passionate about food. I spent years of my life avoiding anything good I could put into my body, and now I’m making up for it.
This seems like a ridiculous statement but avocados literally helped me recover from my eating disorder. They are the definition of ‘superfood’. THEY ARE FULL OF GOOD FAT. The kind of fat that doctors encourage you to eat. Back in my iller days I would scoff at dieticians when they told me that nuts and avocados contained ‘healthy fats’. “That doesn’t exist” – adamant that my fifteen year old self knew all there was to know about what was healthy and what wasn’t, convinced the world was plotting an evil plan to trick me into becoming overweight.
I did eventually bite the bullet and – gasp – start eating avocado. It started out a quarter of one on a cracker with my stupid miso soup, and that soon became half, and then a whole one. Now I sit here on my bed eating an avocado as big as my face with a spoon as a mid-morning snack. And guess what? My weight has stabilised at a healthy number despite all the Shocking Worries About Fat that we see everywhere and let ourselves believe.
The humble avocado helped me more in my eating disorder recovery than my cognitive behavioural therapist, and that’s saying a lot. I have started to realise that you cannot classify foods as good or bad, and you cannot live your life in fear of what will happen if you eat something that is deemed ‘unhealthy’. The most that will happen is you’ll feel a bit too full, if, say, the thing you’ve eaten is a 12” pizza from a questionable fried chicken joint at 2am when drunk. (We’ve all done it, haven’t we?) And that is okay. It is okay to eat things and regret them later, as long as you’re not beating yourself up about it.
Although, saying that, I’ve never regretted scooping out a whole avocado with a spoon.