This article has been written by a sixth year student who is both flu and guilt ridden from the lack of studying she is currently doing. *It is now being edited by a less emotional version of said student, who will be supplying comments in this pretty pink colour.*
Bored, I first submitted an old discursive essay to this website in hope, to see if I was good enough to write any words in any sentence ever. *This has now been proven true, my 29/30 marks Higher folio is my greatest achievement to date, thanks SQA.* *I don’t usually brag like that but I am ridiculously proud, please excuse my swollen head.* I hadn’t thought about why I was doing it and I didn’t think about why I shouldn’t. However, after receiving an email with a ‘hooray, you’re in’ beginning I started to think about it.
I’ve always enjoyed writing; as a child I started countless novels that I was sure would be my number one best seller. I remember reading ‘The Prophecy of the Gems’ – a 400 page novel by 14 year old writer Flavia Bujor. That became my goal. Years later it’s still taking up precious room on my bookshelf because I’m still so impressed. I don’t remember enjoying the read, even the title was a stretch on my vocabulary at the time. At one point I did have thoughts about becoming a journalist, however I have a fear of becoming a soul sucking celebrity journo and contributing to the mass of lies that the media is already. Plus, I don’t have enough confidence that I’d be successful in either career, I aim solely for stability.
So, the other reason I could be writing this, apart from experience in a field I wish I was brave enough to enter in to, is UCAS related. E.g. personal statement. E.g. crippling self-doubt that I’m not interesting enough on paper to get in to university. I don’t even want to do English at uni, the employment rates terrify me (sorry, present English students). I want to study psychology and between now and 15th January I have to figure out how all of my meaningless accomplishments will help my case for that subject. I’m struggling to find a correlation between “I can fit a whole rich tea biscuit in my mouth.” *<- This is completely true.* and “psychology is cool, take me.”
*This seemed like an obvious situation that could actually happen when I was writing this ->* On a further note, when I do apply to university, and someone reads my statement on which I’ve bragged about imogimoon, what if they check this website to see my work? I feel a great deal of pressure to only post hard hitting journalism showing off my linguistic skills. This makes me tres, tres paranoid.
So therefore cards on the table; admissions tutor, hello – I am here. I’m writing about meaningless things. You probably want me to write about current affairs in a style that any political correspondent would be proud of. However, I am not. I am instead writing about food and happiness and reviewing music and more food and I don’t know, the differences between Primark socks and Topshop ones, *I’m sorry, what?* this, that and the other thing. Things I enjoy actually include drawing tiny cacti in the margins of jotters, mindlessly scrolling through social media, and lip syncing to 80s power ballads, no matter what I write for you in my 4000 characters. Websites that tell you to “be yourself”. Nope, sorry. Not doing that. There is no way I am getting in to any university by telling them that I actually enjoy watching Hollyoaks. *This is also true, Hollyoaks is a guilty pleasure in sickness and in health.*
I’m 500 characters in and already cringing at the positive adjectives. There are four thousand things I’d rather do than write these four thousand characters. Not because of the physical act of typing, or forming sentences out of the word bath that is my brain but because it means I actually have to think about what I’ve done so far in ‘life’. And it’s incredibly demoralising… Life is surprisingly difficult and no one made me aware of this.
I’m stuck but I’m enjoying myself.
*^This article is 3,986 characters long, I could use it as my personal statement.*