Having spent the entire summer telling myself that there is absolutely no way I have gotten into uni… I got in. And now I’m not too sure what to do with myself. In mere weeks I’ll be moving out of my home of 8 years, and into student halls with hundreds of people I’ve never met before. Even more worryingly, I’ll have to keep myself alive without the help of my parents, something I thought would be easy but am suddenly doubting. So instead of letting my worries fester, I’ve decided to post them on the internet for all to see.
- What the hell am I supposed to take with me? No matter how many lists, diagrams or spreadsheets I attempt to make, there is always something I know I will forget to take with me. Until yesterday, I didn’t even know I was meant to take my own duvet (which apparently I am. And a lamp.) I’m terrified that I’ll show up, unpack my things and realised I’ve left anything worth taking at home.
- I can’t cook. Until recently, I thought of myself as a pretty decent cook, and then I realised that being able to boil things and put things in the oven doesn’t constitute a “cook”. I can’t help but think that by the end of the first term I’ll come home a malnourished wreck having lived only on crackers and cheese, pesto pasta and houmous.
- How do I make friends? I haven’t really had to worry about making friends since year 7, and I cannot for the life of me remember how I did it. I’ve been told countless times that “you’ll all be in the same boat“, but that doesn’t mean I won’t hate the people I’ll have to live with for the next year, or, even worse, the people on my course. And, even if I do like them, what if I stay stuck in the role of an acquaintance for my entire university experience, unable to make any genuine friends? When I was 11 and starting secondary school, the process of approaching people was hard enough, but at least this time around I have alcohol to lessen the awkwardness of the process…
- What if I can’t find a job? Like many students, my ability to survive is going to depend on my ability to find a part time job. But, living in a university city, I find it highly unlikely that I’ll be able to wander into the nearest coffee shop and instantly find a job to fit around my course and pay something that makes it worth getting up for. Luckily, my parents will be able to offer me financial help, but with getting only the minimum maintenance loan available and no grant at all, I do not want to be reliant on my parents, asking them for cash every time I want to go out or buy a new jumper.
- What if I can’t keep up? So I’ve forced myself, kicking and screaming, through A Levels… and I’m now about to start studying again. Obviously I’ll be doing something I love, but what if passion isn’t enough to succeed? I’ve been excited for years thinking about moving out and being independent, but what if I end up crying into my cereal for the majority of my time at uni? For the first time in my life I’ll be paying for my education, and failing or dropping out won’t be something that I can easily laugh off. I’m paying upwards of £27,000 and I’m desperate not to come out of it scraping a pass.
Are you going to uni this academic year? How do you feel about it? Let me know in the comments below!