The combination of seeing hundreds of artsy journal posts on Tumblr plus the constant longing within me to write all my memories and feelings in one place has resulted in me going out to four stores, finding a Moleskine journal, and attempting to keep it as a sort of memory book.
Now, the journal I bought is roughly 200 pages; I purchased it at the beginning of summer, and now, at summer’s end, I only have about 20 pages filled. Not much progress, but that’s okay. The point of this isn’t for me to have it as a chore or even a hobby, it’s for me to fill at my leisure, with anything I want. There are absolutely no rules, not in my journal—I have pressed flowers in there, Polaroids, random lists, 10-second drawings, nail polish samples, receipts, water bottle labels, and even a Broadway Playbill.
For me, I think the most important thing about keeping this journal, the ultimate result, is to have something to look back on in five or ten or twenty years and see how I was as a teenager, remember what my life was like and relive it.
I’ve always been someone who is worried that time will go by too fast, that I won’t be able to process everything happening in my world, that who I am now will fade over the years and I’ll be completely different. By putting everything into this journal, verbally or not, my thoughts, feelings, emotions, and memories are secured on paper. It feels good to know I’ll always have this part of 2015 me hanging around, and besides, it’s a relaxing source, a place where I can paint an entire page red if I’m angry and feel calm when I’ve released my emotions.
It’s better than a scrapbook, because it’s not just pictures, and better than a diary, because I don’t solely write. Whatever I’m thinking, feeling, doing, it fits in seamlessly. It helps bring out creativity with no boundaries, and it’s so, so fun to look at when you’ve got a good amount of pages filled up.
Wherever I’m going, a two week trip or a two hour drive, I’ll stick my little Moleskine into my bag and have it with me, tape and pen at the ready in case I obtain something I want to put in it. It sounds pretentious, sure, but I really feel like this journal is who I am, who I want to be. It has pictures of my friends and family, the most important people in my life; song lyrics from my favorite bands and quotes from my favorite books, which have shaped me; even pressed flowers from my backyard, a segment from home for when I go away to college.
This is my thoughts on pages, my feelings tucked between two covers, my happiness within the pages of a book. It’ll still take a while to complete, yes, but in the long run, it’s more than worth it.